Oracles of early 2009

In what seemed like other lifetimes, but were as recent as a few years ago, my practice on January 1st, or as near as possible to the “day” passing into New Year’s Day, was to get out the tarot cards and/or runestones and do reading.  Some years may have involved greater quantities of alcohol than others, such as the years of my young adulthood with a group of close friends at a cabin in southern Utah.  Some years I’d use a regular deck of cards and read, gypsy-style.  Other years I waited for quiet time when I could be alone and I could wrap the present around me like a comfortable afghan and be at peace with the past behind me and the unknown ahead.  This year I drew cards on the 17th and have let the messages settle, because I didn’t “get it” until today, talking on the phone with dear friends.  More on meaning of meaning later…

From three similarly styled decks of the Thoth heritage (as opposed to the Rider-Wait heritage), I drew:

(challenge) 10 of Fire/Wands/Clubs
(strength) 10 of Earth/Pentacles/Disks
(conscious perception) Aeon

My query to the universe was to look beyond last year’s angst of career and work issues and get to what matters to the true and pure parts of me:  writing and connecting.  Ten of Fire is about self-oppression – holding back my own power.  Ten of Earth is about manifesting abundance through communication (I haz writing skillz?) and organizational (I haz a desk here somewherez) skills.  Aeon/Judgement (SELF judgement) is the archeytpe for broad perspectives, historical cycles, and being able to forgive ourselves for what we are doing or NOT doing in our lives.

“It is only when we actually try to see beyond ourselves that we begin to use the oracles as a mirror of the cosmos and all of its wisdom.” – Brian Froud and Jessica Macbeth, from “The Faerie’s Oracle.”

Meaning of meanings?  I made a deal today and I have until Sunday to follow through with my word.  Stay tuned to me stepping up, or being in the same holding pattern for decades now.

Aeon, or something like it

Not Sharing

Besides the fact I haven’t been online because I was behind the Zion Curtain, and despite how I recovered from excessive vodka and vino (not at the same time, dearies, I’m occassionally not-smart but I’m not stupid)…  I haven’t felt like saying a whole lot.  Thoughts rumble around my mostly-empty head and I’m aware that I’m focusing on not focusing.  If this is serenity, I have to say I rather like chaos.  And sex and erotica and alcohol and dancing.  But I digress.

Here’s what I’ve not been sharing:

• New fave drink is carbonated water with ice.
• Working out, stretching and meditating… and slowly making progress.
• I’m likin’ the new template here.  The days of my black blog are over.
• Thank you to Christopher for the new headers (top of page).
• Scott and I are talking marriage before November.
  • No ceremony, no announcements, no presents, no photographers.
  • We already have rings.
  • We loved our 2005 commitment ceremony.
  • Neither of us want the other’s last name, but we may merge both and make one.
  • I would be completely fine with another honeymoon.
• I’m on book three of a young adult series, and book one of a new vampire series which I liked even though I thought the main character (who unfortunately survived) had as much empathy and compassion as Vlad the Impaler.
• Tarot and archetypes.  Its’ been ages since I did a reading, even though I took my stash with me (runes and two decks) to Utahrd.  Tarot of the Spirit, also affectionately known as the “Armageddon” deck.  Not for the faint of heart or heartless.  Helpful if one is familiar with Joseph Campbell and world mythologies.
• We hauled out the pool cover, which means summer is over.  If we’re lucky, we can use the cover and still be swimming through October, global warming permitting.
• With the turning of summer into fall, I have ample reason to pull out TLC’s Pussy Cap for our walks with Midas.  More on TLC when I can wrap some words around the wonder that he is.
• It’s a fellow blogger’s birthday tomorrow and I am completely unprepared.  I’d like to dedicate either a poem or a gorgeous hunk of a man to him.  Or offer to write him a short story.  Or send a care package of music, apricot butter, vodka, wine, or a big fuckin’ basket of all the above.  His choice.

That is all.

What’s on YOUR mind?

A New Year

We packed away the holiday regalia. Scott worked a portion of the day while I did laundry and played domestic god. I treated myself to a massage in the afternoon and had a delicious nap on the sectional with Scott.

Sometime during the day, I talked to Julz on the phone and we talked about doing a reading – an annual ritual that I’m challenged with keeping. I have many tarot decks in many different styles and flavors, and some I’ve never used or even opened. The deck that I wanted to use is called the “Faeries Oracle,” created by Brian Froud. Initially, I worried that the deck was too whimsical and light, but the content convinced me that it is quite substantial, and the artwork is enticing and enchanting (no pun intended). The card I pulled for myself for 2008’s theme was: He of the Fiery Sword.

The gist: there is (or is a need for) ‘clear and focused will and a determination to carry through on decisions, even if much effort is required.’ The admonition is to be aware of how that strength or will and their expression may be enhanced or improved in order to ‘burst the bonds of an outgrown way of being and move on to the next level.’

I did another reading with the major arcana cards of a set that Christopher Butler sent me. I pulled one card only to validate the theme for 2008, and what I pulled was Death/Rebirth. I admit, the first moment of reading the card made me want to put the card away and reshuffle, because death in any shape/form is something I have a hard time dealing with. The archetype makes complete sense, though. The meaning of Death in 2008 is simple: this represents my capacity to change and transform at deep levels. It is an active process of letting go of old patterns in able to experience and express new parts of myself. (But if I do die in 2008, then you read it here first, and know that I’ll be having LONG discussions with baby Jeebus.)

Two card readings, and one meaning: work will be very different in 2008. It IS official, by the way – a certain person has retired and their last day was today. Tomorrow, when I go to work, will be a new day – unlike any that I’ve had in the 8.5 years I’ve been there.

Evening appointment: readings

Tonight I’m heading over the hill for a tarot and runestone reading.

I’m biting the bullet here, since it’s been ages that I’ve pulled any cards or stones out, and the other reason to go to someone is because I want unbiased. It’s way too easy to do my own reading and say “uh-huh,” “oh, yes,” and “yep.” I can look in the mirror and know exactly what is going on. A stranger, on the other hand, has the benefit of being able to say anything to you without reservation. I’m not looking for answers. The reading is for a “check in” and for a validation of where I am. That’s how I do readings, and that’s my expectation when I get readings done for me.

I’ll update later tonight, after the reading and after the gym. Mwah.

*update*

Alex is a nice guy and he did basic readings. He never asked if I knew tarot, only if I had had readings before – I wanted to see if he’d give me a white-wash or not. The readings weren’t complicated nor indepth. His reading made me look like Pollyanna. Yes, I’m being purposefully vague.

Alex used the Rider-Waite deck and the Celtic Cross layout – I didn’t have a specific question, only intention. We pulled six runes for two questions I had regarding writing (as a career and regarding emotional satisfaction). The positive aspects he listed is that life is good, creativity abounds, relationships are strong, and work is changing for the better. The potential negative is change in career/jobs which results in feeling boxed in more than I am now. Another potential negative is cutting off, ending, or getting rid of things that may still be of value (up to and including friendships that don’t work any more).

None of this is new or surprising to me. As I said – I wanted a reading to check-in with the universe and validate where I am. For the record, I don’t believe tarot or any form of “divination” tells the future – I believe they are tools to verify where someone is at that moment. It’s a roadmap, so to speak, showing where you are on Life’s road.

What Makes Me Happy

SML’s suggestion on LA’s blog is the inspiration for this entry.

Intellectually, I know that happiness comes from within – it took many years for me to appreciate (let alone like or love) myself (I give folks the opportunity of years to decide if they dig me or not *grin*).

Emotionally, I realize that moments, things, stuff, or other people can motivate or evoke reactions of bliss, giddiness or joy. With that said, here’s my incomplete and always-changing list of things that make me happy. (No rhyme or reason, just train of thought – refrain from train wreck comments, please.)

• Scott’s smile and the way he looks at me.
• Parentheticals.
• Snuggling.
• White-sand beaches. Lakes, oceans, rivers.
• ID Glide, Wet, or Elbow Grease (translation: lube)
• Wind storms. The smell of rain. Lightning.
• My baby blanket (Woobie).
• Music: 70’s, 80’s, 90’s (disco, “new wave alternative,” rock, pop, trance, techno)
• Annie Lennox.
• Song quotes.
• Republican scandals (this Mark Foley situation is delicious).
• Puns. Metaphors. Archetypes.
• Tarot. Runes. Astrology.
• Walks, whether rain or shine, with Midas and Scott.
• Saturn curling up in the folds of my robe.
• Writing. Blogging. Email (the “increase your penis size” spam still cracks me up).
• Drinking and dancing, or just dancing, no matter how goofy or silly I feel or look.
• Vodka, tequila, beer, wine, sangria and schnapps.
• Fresh chocolate chip cookies.
• The smell of cedar, pine, and sage.
• Massage, preferably from straight male therapists. I’m not sexist or homophobic – just particular. As TLC would say, ‘my body, my choices.’
• Calvin Klein, 2Xist, or AF underwear models.
• Sex toys, porn and/or masturbation… discussions.
• Snowglobes.
• Crystals and stones: moldovite, sapphires, obsidian, amethyst, and rose quartz.
• Games: board, card, console, RPG or PC (translation: geek)
• Scott’s cooking (cf Lemon-Thyme Chicken, blue cheese bbq filet, and spaghetti)
• Food: Italian, Indian, Bohemian, Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese.
• Movies: Young Frankenstein, Lord of the Rings, Labyrinth, Highlander
• Fiction: Anything by James Clemens (thrillers) or James Rollins (fantasy)
• Hairy chests. Buffed calves. Butts. Abs. Biceps. (insert silly grin, here)
• Randomness. Chaos. Chance.

What makes YOU happy?

Tarot: One of Fire (Force)

Tarot of the Spirit by Pamela Eakins, PhD
and artwork by Joyce Eakins, MFA

Once a year, sometimes once every few years, I’ll use this specific deck. The times I used this deck mostly are when I lived with Lynski and Jennifer in Salt Lake City. Lynski and I used to call it “the Armageddon Deck” because it was kind of like a spiritual blast of truth that sometimes left a feeling like ground zero – pretty tough stuff for those days when Truth, let alone truth, weren’t high on my list of priorities. Dual readings or solo readings, this deck was intense. This one card from tonight is timely and appropriate. Paraphrased:

An internal energy, a raw and restless awakening. There is a lack of direction, but no lack in power or force. Reactions can range from exhilaration to depressionto feeling like burning up, or to frustration. The direction is not clear, but there is awareness that the Wheel of Fortune is turning. The challenge is learning how to focus. In this expanding universal space, yang is the primal male element of Fire. Direction must turn towards yin, the feminine, the cosmic depths. “A balance of the male and female energies within will allow you to expand and grow with flexibility, creativity and clarity.”

Runestone: Gebo (or Geofu)

From this rune site: “Gifts, both in the sense of sacrifice and of generosity, indicating balance. All matters in relation to exchanges, including contracts, personal relationships and partnerships.”

May I mention the wonderful dinner this evening with Scott?

Queen: Killer Queen

She keeps her Moet et Chandon
In A pretty cabinet
‘Let them eat cake’ she says
Just like Marie Antoinette
Buildin’ a remedy
For Kruschev and Kennedy
At anytime an invitation
You can’t decline

Caviar and cigarettes
Well versed in etiquette
Extraordinarily nice

She’s a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime

Recommended at the price
Insatiable in appetite
Wanna try?

To avoid complications
She never kept the same address
In conversation
She spoke just like a baroness
Met a man from China
Went down to Geisha Minor
Then again incidentally
If you’re that way inclined

Perfume came naturally from Paris
For cars, she couldn’t care less
Fastidious and precise

Drop of a hat she’s as willing as
Playful as a pussy cat
Then momentarily out of action
Temporarily out of gas
She’ll absolutely drive you wild, wild
She’s out to get you

Recommended at the price
Insatiable in appetite
Wanna try?
You wanna try

High Priestess

Runestone: Perth

The beginning of each year I usually do a reading, with a look back at the prior year and its challenges and accomplishments, and also a look forward into what’s ahead based on what’s going on now. As Julz can attest, I wasn’t too receptive to doing readings for myself. The conversation stayed with me for days, how dismissive and offhand I was with a meditative practice that’s pushed, prodded, or gently set a mirror in front of my stubborn face, showing me not only the shadows but also the highlights in my life. Julz and I share many aspects of a parallel path and I should have listened better.

For the uninitiated, I don’t think runestones or tarot are “woo woo” or technically magical – I subscribe to the Jungian theories of universal consciousness, to the Joseph Campbell sentiments of myths and archetypes. Runes and tarot are symbols, they are tools, but can easily be exchanged for other metaphors: how a person walks, how a person greets another, how a person stands after they’ve stumbled and fallen. It all comes down to being able to look at the things that we like to keep in shadow, the parts of ourselves we don’t think to acknowledge but are there. I don’t read for the future, I read for what is in the present. The exercise is a check-in, a touchstone, a reminder to the obvious, or sometimes a smack upside the head.

Two nights ago I drew Perth. I’m borrowing heavily from Harold Blum’s “The Book of Runes” here. The literal meaning(s) is initiation, meaning it’s the middle rune within a series of cyclic runes. It’s strongly associated with the phoenix, that bird which consumes itself in fire and rises from its own ashes. Symbolically, the rune is the flight of the eagle (or phoenix) which is “above the endless ebb and flow of ordinary life to acquire broader vision”. Nothing external matters here, except as it shows you its inner reflection. Finally, I know that the coming changes of 2006 are sweeping, because the final statement for the rune is: “Nothing less than renewal of the Spirit is at stake.”